general saturday musings

ya ever meet that person who makes you question yourself - like everything about yourself - shakes your core and makes you take stock look around and wonder if you are good enough?

i heard once there are 3 stages of enlightenment

- those folks who are working on enlightenment or decidedly not working on enlightenment and tell you about the work they are doing or not doing
- those folks who have had a recent awakening or realization and tell you all about how aware and enlightened they are
- and those folks who get it - and know they get it and know they have lots to learn still and will always be working on it so they just do it

well it never fails - if you find yourself in any of those 3 categories and meet someone and really get involved and intimate with them and they are actively involved in another category it can rock you!

like when i first got divorced i did the run away and escape thing -i was ALWAYS busy - always had someplace to be - someone to see - something to do - then i hermitted up for a bit - then i got okay with being alone - comfortable wiht me - and now i have plans - or i dont - and i am okay either way

until someone in the busy stage suggests there is something wrong with my being okay with being alone - and then i wonder - am i regressing? - am i doing the right thing? am i avoiding life?

ya know what - I am good

i am in a good place in life

i can be with a variety of people who love me doing a variety of activities from paintballing to dancing to book discussions to bike rides - well you name it - one phone call and i am there

i have amazing kids who think its a good time to go out to breakfast with mom

i have books to read, bibles to study, movies to watch, computers to waste time on, thinks to think, car to drive.....i am good

and becuase you are in a different part of your journey - doesnt mean you are in better part or you are any better than me - or my flaws shine louder and my gifts arent at good

i am pretty amazing woman - i like being Jenn

so there