a visit to my bridge

The water is so high today - and moving so fast. The rocks I usually use as my resting place are beneath the surface and the path is now just part of the flowing swirls.

Again I see my world in those swirling waters. Life is so full right now, but passing so quickly. I watch branches and leaves and the people I love being carried downstream being tossed around in the current. I know I can throw a line and bring them to the calm shores, but also have a great awareness that it isn't my job - and that in doing so I put myself at great risk. Instead I sit at the bank and watch their struggle knowing that as long as they don't go under that is my job. to pray for safety, pray they hear Gods guidance and hope they find their path. I listen and ask questions, give perspective and feedback and know that the journey is in the hands of the traveler and their guidance system - not the hands of those sent to love support and encourage them along their way.

I again look at the water and think about all the people who watch me, love me and pray for me as I struggle with the same current. We share some struggles, others are mine alone. I look back and see the places where I merely tread water - see where I swam - where I was drowning - where I reached for the lifejackets offered by the hands who love me - where I climbed in someone elses boat and allowed them take me down their path till I jumped ship and struck out on my own again. There is no judgement in watching my past journey - just a strong awareness of how each piece brought me to this place.

I see myself swimming now. I feel the short hesitant strokes becoming strong and confident. I feel the panic that I can't make it and watch myself stop and tread while looking for the way. I watch myself try to do it myself - as if I am the one marathoner who doesn't need the water station.

I laugh.

My journey is better for sharing it, my burdons lighter for sharing them. My joys brighter and my days easier. My struggles are mine - but what a blessing to know someone will always have a bank to rest upon when it becomes to great.

I look downriver and see my boat - my prize - the next milestone to mark this journey. I see how good it is to claim that boat - to row merrily and live the dream.

Its all there. Now to claim it as my own.

The water is high today - and moving so fast.