loving Maugham......

today I read these words...

"You know, there are two good thins in life, freedom of thought and freedom of action. In France you get freedom of action; you can do what you like and nobody bothers, but you must think like everyone else. In Germany you must do what everybody else does, but you may think as you choose. They're both very god things. I personally prefer freedom of thought. But in England you get neither: you're ground down by convention. You can't think as you like and you can't act as you like. That is because it's a democratic nation. I expect America's worse."

Wow - what a great thought. I am finding a lot I enjoy in On Human Bondage -
I am finding a million words and ideas that get my little brain thinking. Descriptions of young Phillip as he grows up and the way his mind works with and against his body - or actually his foot

but this idea that you can have freedom of thought OR freedom of action - but not both

that is sticking - stuck all afternoon actually and finally brought me here to try and work it out.

I know that modern times tell you that you can have both - that you can live your life as you wish between your ears adn in your world - but can you?

there are costs for living life as you wish - there is a price for thinking for yourself - for not conforming to the world around you - and if that world is a good place then the risk isn't so great - you think and behave as the good folks around you and you can live a pleasant life

if you think and behave in a way that causes others to be uncomfortable then there is a price

so I was telling a friend that my sister came home for christmas with a surprise - a little decoration in her lower lip. I told him that I was worried for her - she was entering a nursing career and the rules on the floor are so strict - heck it is even hard to be an ugly nurse - let alone a nurse who has chosen to express some individuality

his response was - oh so you have something against piercings? because my fiance (who you are meeting in a day or so) has several

I was honest - no - I think the right piercing on the right face is down right hot - but I worry for my sister that she wont be able to find a job despite the fact that she is a fricking genius and no one can compare with her patient care skills - because of this sign of individuality

so - again freedom of thought and freedom of action

my hair is often the topic of conversation at work. Many love my hair - they love the expression - the colors - the vibrancy - the fact that it is "so you" - but my boss is always telling me - if your hair makes people uncomfortable then you have to work twice has hard to get to ground zero before you can even begin the sale - in sales it pays to be neutral

but I can't be neutral - it makes me feel lost

so freedom of thought or freedom of action

conformity