chinese delivery

I remember a day About a year ago now

I couldn't take one more thing
I couldn't handle one more need
I was done

I drove to your house - you let me in I just sat there on your couch - not talking - not listening. Just being there

Slowly I started to let it all go
The weight of all the balls I juggle
The stress of keeping my ducks in a row
The mask of control - the need to be strong - the fear of letting it down
I just let it all go

I sat on your couch
Pet the cats
Drank - laughed - cried

My phone rang - over and over
You turned off the ringer
The texts were flying

We ordered chinese for delivery - not for us but for my children a hundred miles away

I remember telling you I couldn't do it anymore - and that I just needed to be

You didn't want anything from me - you didn't ask for anything from me - you let me lay there - absolutely overwhelmed by the demands of my life - the voices of my world and the pressures of my day

You held me and for a minute I felt safe again

I remember that feeling today - how it felt to be held by someone who wanted nothing from me yet was willing to give just what I needed without asking

And most days I juggle well - I can hold it all together and my ducklings stay perfectly in line.

I miss that feeling

And today it is all I want