a fortunate accident

I spend my life with what ifs...... with watched words - with baited breath hoping someone else will open the door and then I can just walk thru

I like to be invited - I want someone else to match my risk

but it needs to be my risk - or it can't be my gain


I wrote that about a year ago - almost like a land mark - one I keep passing over and over

I thought I was walking in circles - coming back to the same place - over and over again - like I wasn't actually getting anywhere

and then I looked - it isn't that I wasn't getting anywhere - it isn't that I am walking in the same circles over and over again - it isn't that i am stuck - even though it feels that way

i simply am walking in ever narrowing circles around the goal

i keep passing the same landmark - only it gets farther away each time I pass it - and my destination seems to be getting closer.

i have to believe I am on my way - i dont know where - i just keep hoping i am not alone at the end of the road