who gets to define culture

Holy Cow!

Seriously - I almost became unglued - he said pro abortion - like there is anyone in this world who has ever had to face that decision who decided that abortion was a great solution - like there is a woman who has had to ponder that choice who chose it as easily as she chooses the coffee she buys at Starbucks or the kind of gum she wants

like it is heart wrenching to consider and even when you choose life - like your child doesn't look at you one day and ask if you thought about it - like if you choose an abortion you aren't haunted for the rest of your life - that you dont look at children and figure out how old that child would have been - i am so grateful that i haven't had to experience that myself - but I do know a few people who have - and do - they still live with that pain

and i live with the fact that i had to make the choice - i mean you have met Fele and Em - you know my choice - but do you know the nights i sat up and pondered that? the nights I sat there stroking a belly that didnt even show signs of pregnancy talking to a collection of cells and apologizing that I was even thinking of choosing my life over theirs

do you know what that does? but if I hadn't chosen this life - if I hadn't chosen those girls - if someone had told me that i had no choice in that decision - that the newly defined american culture dicated that I suck it up and raise these children - can you even imagine how angry I would be at them -because this life has been hard - how cheated I could have felt of felt like i was punished becuase the birth control wasn't effective in my case - oops guess that implant idea was not a good method - or because the condom broke - not because I wasnt careful - but becuase I was that 2%

and when I worked two and three jobs - and I went without to make sure they had - and when I stayed awake nights worrying about doing it all myself - and when I am overwhelmed and there is no one to say - hey Jenn - dont worry I got you on this one - and when the child support doesnt arrive like it is supposed to

if i hadn't been able to say - yeah - this sucks - but it was such the right choice - that this is hard, but they are so worth it - that I couldnt say - hey I am SO glad that I chose my girls.

One day my then 14 year old daughter was getting really upset over a pro-life rant that was happening on TV - my father looked at her and said- hey - your mother is pro-life - and aren't you lucky she is

my little girl looked him straight in the eye and said - nope - my Mom is pro-choice - and she knew that chosing her life is a very different thing than having to pay the price and accepting responsibility for an obligation becuase you made a mistake

that is another thing she knows - when she was little she asked if she was a mistake - and I told her that she (and her sister) were a surprise - she asked what the difference was - and I told her a mistake is something that you wouldn't repeat - a surprise is something that you didnt know you wanted until you got it.

that man sat at that table tonight running for the highest office in the land and said that we needed to change the american culture - like he had the answers for the "culture" of all the people who live in this land

and the sad thing is that attitude is so un-american - apparently he didnt watch his School House Rock


My grandmother came from Russia
A satchel on her knee,
My grandfather had his father's cap
He brought from Italy.
They'd heard about a country
Where life might let them win,
They paid the fare to America
And there they melted in.

are you singing yet?

seriously - it was just too much