a moment with alton brown

So I wish I could find something that would slow my brain down long term. Meditation works for an hour or two - journaling takes one pot off the burner but won't shut down the litchen - making lists puts order to things, but doesn't stop the simmering - and I never let myself get drunk enough to make it stop...and the things I turned to in my youth carry too high a price to monkey around with these days....two sets of big blue eyes remind me daily that I am the only one who has their back - so I need to stay available for them.

But on days like today I would pay someone to reach in and shut off the computer. Parenting decisions mix with life decisions mix with finance which leads to housing and sibling relations - that mixes with relationships and friendships and fears that our new found coping solution will lead to an over-extension and deadlines and patience and desires and wishes and dreams and schools and anxieties and well you get the idea. Sad thing is that is just the tip of the iceburg.

I can't imagine how life would be without my brain working the way it does - but somedays I wish it would whisper instead of shout. I wish it worked like a crock pot - mix it set it and forget it. Instead I seem to have several sauce pans with a dozen delicate sauces going at once - and I can't seem to let them go for fear the sauce will break without constant attention.

I need to figure out how to quit making hollindaise and start making country gravy. Hardier stuff - doesn't break :)